love: An Illusion

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Copyright © Meenakshi with Komal Dadhwal,2020
All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

Nor I’m soft,

Neither I love rain

Still! I don’t know,

How come you both happened to me.

To the girls,

Far from me yet so close.

        &          

      To our families.

                                  YYY

 

I don’t know, will you read or not

I don’t know, will you understand

_you mean you

I don’t know, will you just read the words

Or feel within.

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

I’m like a paper blank

You can crush it

Tear it

Burn it

My life is like the crinkles in it

Bits of papers are my heart

Soul turns into ashes

That’s what you made me.

 

 

 

YYY

 

I often wondered,

Why does an anti-lover fall for you?

Then, that’s the specialty

You made me fall

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for you.

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

I never thought,

Loving you was this tough

Being with you, I’m not with you.

 

 

 

YYY

 

I portrait myself like a blank canvas

Just to let you paint me_ as you want

But black wasn’t what I thought.

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

You never loved me,

The way I used to do.

It’s not your fault _but

If I just confessed you

Then maybe, I won’t regret it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

Love wasn’t in my list

Until

Brown Hazel eyes lost

In the blue magical once.

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

Love!

What’s love?

Some say,

Pure feeling

Necessity

Complicated

I don’t know,

For me, it’s you!

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

Do you believe in love at first sight??

No, was my answer.

Whenever someone asks.

Then you were my first time.

 

YYY

 

The feeling of being loved,

Is something I never felt _

Or I just want to feel it… with you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

Talking about you,

It is what I loved.

But when someone asks,

Who is that ‘you’?

I always used to be mum.

~you will always keep in secret.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

You never asked,

Why I told you to stay away from that blonde girl

You may be thought,

I’m jealous

No!

I trust you too much to be jealous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

You know,

The first-ever kiss of ours

It was a cheek kiss

Which was a token of love for me.

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

I was like a butterfly,

Born from the chrysalis,

In the world of love.

New and amateur.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

You know I’m a crazy Bollywood songs fan

But do you know, after loving you,

It seems all are based on me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

According to one,

Everyone has someone, specifically made for them

I thought, for me it’s you _

Silly me!

 

 

                                           YYY

 

You messed-up a lot

With my mind and heart

Or we could say,

I let you do it.

 

 

 

YYY

 

One day I had to accept

You were never mine,

I feared from that reality check only

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

You never loved me, I know

But as a friend, you were always there

It’s the hardest thing, to cope

~ loving someone and pretending to be friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

I’m angry, depressed, or something

For not getting your love.

But-if only if I respect your friendship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

You always tried to bound us,

In the line with friendship.

And I always thought,

You and me _was never us.

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

You respect our friendship,

I, being selfish, want my love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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YYY

 

You were my dream,

I watched with open eyes

Alas! The reality was something else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

You were always a question for me

Who’s answer, I’m still discovering.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

I was a selenophile

Then I discovered my moon,

In you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

I forgot, whatever it is

Still, you’re a moon

Who loved by millions?

And I was one of those millions,

You never know

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

Like moon in sky,

You too were, are, and will be,

Far from reach.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

Hey love!

Oops, one-sided love

Will you ever love me?

Will you ever feel for me like I do?

Will you say yes if I propose to you?

Were the questions I wanted to ask you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

I wish you to think me,

As a mate

I wish you could love me

More than a friend

I wish we could pause our time

I wish we could be together.

Alas! I just wished which was never in our fate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

Loving someone is somewhat easy

But letting them go,

Make your heart bleed millions of times

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

One says,

Let it go_

If it’s yours, it will come back

If not, then it was never yours.

~we can’t wait for lifetime, just to confirm.

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

I was always in doubt

If I gave so soon

Or it the right decision only

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

Eventually!

Letting you go was the only option

And the right one too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

Goodbyes hurt

When they are without any reason and sudden,

It makes you hollow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

Our goodbyes were like this only

Unplanned and sudden

I lost a friend

You lost someone who loved you Unconditionally!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

I won’t die without you

No one do

It’s just one more lie _

We talked in love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

Maybe it was a teenage crush

Maybe it was a one-sided love

Maybe attractive or my imagination

Whatever it was?

It took years to figure out,

It wasn’t love for sure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

Time flew by,

You are somewhere,

I don’t know.

I’m somewhere,

You don’t know.

But your every memory,

Is fresh in my blank diary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 YYY

 

I don’t love you now

But

I can’t hate you either

Knowingly! Unknowingly!

You were the best part of my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 YYY

 

Everything is temporary!

So was my love.

Hey! Don’t laugh.

I still miss you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

You were always a part of my life

As a stranger

As a crush

As a friend

As a love

Now,

In memories.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YYY

 

Maybe we meet someday,

When and where _don’t know

Then maybe I confess,

You were my love once!

Let’s hope and hope.

 

 

 

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Inked Cosmos

Writer and Reader user